I can only imagine

I can only imagine…
what life is like
to fully know the love of Jesus
to fully know the love
of anyone…for that matter
I don’t….dwell on the past
I’ve taken issue with my stuff
at least as much as I could…at the time
some of it resurfaces
like an onion…I have to peel back layers
I don’t worry about tomorrow
At least….Im not consumed by it…but
my days…drag on endlessly..
one into the other…
nothing special…nothing grand…
just another day
I want to “seize the day” carpe dium
I want to recognize all the good in the day
I want to be thankful for everything..
Especially that I am Gods chosen daughter
But….I don’t
My walking around on earth life….
Is hard
Not as hard as some..but hard…none the less
I….am a failure at this thing called love
but I want it so badly…I can only imagine

Glory

"And the word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory...full of grace and truth" John 1:14 NKJV

It's spring again and wow, what a lovely aray of colors, sights, sounds and smells. God is so good and his message is over and over - how we are reborn...I have a heart for those who can touch him at last. I was one of the lost and now am found. I am a sinner and yet Jesus still loves me.

To say that we were once blind and now can see, is just a way of trying to express the wonderful life Jesus has given us. We do not need chemicals to party, we fellowship honestly. We do not need to compete, we are forever complete in our Father.

And most importantly - we belong - We finally belong. Thank God that my eyes were opened - thank God for REBIRTH

Happy
Spring

Bermuda Triangle

March 17, 2010
I want to live…happy, joyous and free
But I don’t
I want it more than I can articulate
But there’s a block…a disconnect
My family seems to do it
They seem relatively content…at least
Waking to beautiful sun….warm temps…flowers beginning to bloom
These things are not lost on me
I see them…with my eyes
I don’t feel them with my heart
I’m missing something beautiful
Something that God intended for me
I am caught up in gracelessness
Everyday a struggle
Everyday a battle between good and evil
It binds me…not just my hands…my entire being
And I…as a result…am not the beauty that God intended
It saddens me…there is no relief
I am caught in a triangle…..the Bermuda triangle
Of love gone wrong…or maybe just lost relationship
Not of my doing….but someone else’s
I had a choice once…I chose what I thought God wanted
In reflection, I still believe it is God ordered
Wilderness is dark…and cold and uncomfortable
Yet, here I stay….lessons to be learned and relearned
Until I get it….into my heart…the lessons of God for me
“The brokenness of the fall, lived out in Technicolor” –deb turnow!
Not just my brokenness…but the triangle participants as well
I “hurt…over the things that break Gods heart”-deb again!
The grasp that the evil one has on our lives
Some greater than others…and I, can do nothing
Do I forget that God can do all things……no
Or maybe I do…for a moment
That’s all it takes…just one moment…to live as if there is no God
And that’s what Im doing….right?
“God…I believe….please help my unbelief”