Bermuda Triangle

March 17, 2010
I want to live…happy, joyous and free
But I don’t
I want it more than I can articulate
But there’s a block…a disconnect
My family seems to do it
They seem relatively content…at least
Waking to beautiful sun….warm temps…flowers beginning to bloom
These things are not lost on me
I see them…with my eyes
I don’t feel them with my heart
I’m missing something beautiful
Something that God intended for me
I am caught up in gracelessness
Everyday a struggle
Everyday a battle between good and evil
It binds me…not just my hands…my entire being
And I…as a result…am not the beauty that God intended
It saddens me…there is no relief
I am caught in a triangle…..the Bermuda triangle
Of love gone wrong…or maybe just lost relationship
Not of my doing….but someone else’s
I had a choice once…I chose what I thought God wanted
In reflection, I still believe it is God ordered
Wilderness is dark…and cold and uncomfortable
Yet, here I stay….lessons to be learned and relearned
Until I get it….into my heart…the lessons of God for me
“The brokenness of the fall, lived out in Technicolor” –deb turnow!
Not just my brokenness…but the triangle participants as well
I “hurt…over the things that break Gods heart”-deb again!
The grasp that the evil one has on our lives
Some greater than others…and I, can do nothing
Do I forget that God can do all things……no
Or maybe I do…for a moment
That’s all it takes…just one moment…to live as if there is no God
And that’s what Im doing….right?
“God…I believe….please help my unbelief”